Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Cabin Fever

Here I am, three weeks post op and two weeks post leak. I can't believe how fast time is going! Yesterday was my first big outing since the surgery. Ryan took me out to lunch and to the mall, I walked around myself for about a half hour but got pretty weak so he stuck me in the wheelchair. The excitement of my trip was that I got a new pair of tennis shoes and two new pairs of glasses!!

The hardest thing for me to do is relax, anyone that knows me, knows that relaxing isn't in my vocabulary. My mind is constantly running with everything I should be doing, want to be doing, would rather be doing....the list goes on and on. So sitting here pretty confined has been killing me. I had a very hard adjustment at first because there isn't ANYTHING I am allowed to do, this is only the third time I have looked at a computer screen. Going to see Beijjanni every Thursday to be told that my stitches need to stay in and I'm' overdoing it has been the worst part.

But I understand that I did kind of just have brain surgery, so I do have to take it easier. So, instead of sitting here and being defeated I am doing things with my life. I am reading an amazing book right now, its called "Never Give Up" by Joyce Meyer, I recommend this reading to ANYONE who has ever faced ANY adversity in their lives, meaning EVERYONE. The words and meaning behind her writing are so unbelievably powerful. Instead of sitting here feeling sorry for myself I'm setting up my life for everything I couldn't do before. The power of her message has truly touched my heart and soul and I hope and pray that someday someone will tell me I have impacted them in the positive way she has impacted me.

Just because I'm stuck at home doesn't mean I can't do anything, there is so much more I can do, and every morning I open my eyes and realize that I did it, I survived the scariest decision of my life and I am making something of it, Gosh that is such reason for me to want to do something wonderful. So what do you say, who wants to make big things happen with me? I'm hear to listen and hopefully help you make a decision that will positively impact your life, the way that my surgery has impacted mine so far.

Don't get me wrong, I still have a LONG way to go, I still have some pains and weakness but I am ready to live the life I deserve, and I think you, the person reading this, should be ready to live the life they deserve as well. So don't forget how special you are, whether you have cabin fever or not!

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